I've met some new and interesting people as of late. The notion occurred to me today, that it might be useful to try to write out some of my thoughts on D/s and my desired role within the dynamic.
Lets start off by saying that no one wants a robot. The idea of being
a "perfect" servant is a fallacy. Even if one were to somehow, via
strange occult rituals, manage to never break a rule or make a mistake,
all you have is an empty vessel.
People want life, individuality and substance. That doesn't mean that
you should be crazy, bratty, or selfish, just that it's important to
hold onto your own identity even while in service.
Service is a huge undertaking. Make sure that you are willing to
provide not only physical aspects but also awareness, integrity,
honesty, sacrifice, empathy, patience and love to name a few. As a
slave, your goal above all else is to serve and enhance the lives of
This means bringing your own wisdom, knowledge and passion to the
table. Be willing to push yourself, and devote every fiber of your being
into the service itself as that's the requirement of the position.
Keep in mind, just as we stated above, that you are not a robot. You
have to be attentive to your own needs, and be able to clearly
communicate them when given the opportunity. Silence and misconception
are killers in any kind of relationship, especially D/s.
Also, your Owner is not a robot either, well hopefully not at least.
As such, they have their own needs that must be met, many of which lay
outside the boundaries of D/s. Sometimes you will have to step outside
of your own role, and be a partner instead of a follower.
Understand that everything is an illusion, especially most of the
ideas you've formed about D/s. Don't expect ridiculous treatment, like
being tied up in someones basement 24/7, or that your Owner lives in
some kind of magickal latex suit and is dying to scene with you at any
Remember that despite what some famous author might have said, "We
are all beautiful and unique snowflakes." Learn to love yourself,
despite the flaws and issues that are there. That's not an excuse to be
lazy, or to stop pushing yourself in a direction of growth. It's more an
appreciation of who you've become so far, and the ground you've
Ultimately service is just about sharing your journey with someone
else, only in an alternative way. Mixing D/s with everyday life is a lot
like Alchemy. Thankfully it's not some hollow pursuit like trying to
make the philosophers stone, but more akin to a good bowl of chicken
noodle soup. It takes attention, desire, lots of work, and maybe a
little luck to get it just right.