Today I'm wearing a checkered thong. I'm sitting at a table with a mason jar filled with marbles. One by one I'm taking them out and counting them. Sounds thrilling I know, but there is a method to this madness.
This entry is about different ways you can incorporate D/s into an otherwise "vanilla" relationship. Mixing the two requires innovation and a desire to make things work smoothly. There's no "one true way" to do it. These are just some suggestions to get the ideas flowing.
So lets start with the marbles. The purpose here is about reaffirming each persons roles through random activities. This works by establishing a rule that the servant has to take time out of their day to make sure there are a certain number of marbles in the jar. At random times the Owner will either remove a couple of marbles or add a few just to throw it off.
It sounds silly, but this is something simple, that easy to do, and it doesn't require any kind of costume nor drawn out scene. Having to check the marble jar every day reminds the servant of the importance of the rules. Also, since the Owner is occasionally checking the jar and making changes, it keeps both parties involved.
Our next example deals with denial and permission. Just like the previous idea, this one too is best used randomly. Simply put, the Owner denies the servant permission to do or experience something. It doesn't matter what is being denied. Alternatively, the Owner can at random time give the servant permission for something they wanted to do that was denied in the past. The important part here is that the servant is faced with the fact that they have given up control of their life to their Owner.
Now lets look at some "mini" protocols that can be used. One possibility might be an Owner requiring their slave to eat in a different position instead of at the table with them. You could still easily carry on a "vanilla" conversation over dinner, but having the sub eat while sitting in the floor is a way of saying, "that's your place in our relationship."
Also we should consider things like expectations and acts of personal service. It's pretty simple for an Owner to establish some rules, and have their slave take care of domestic duties. More than likely if a slave is "service oriented" he or she will probably love doing these things anyway.
An Owner can add a deeper level to their interaction if they include commands. This doesn't mean yelling, or having a stern tone of voice. The idea here is to request something in a way that you might from a computer or a robot instead of a person. By doing so, the Owner is treating the slave like a "slave" and not a vanilla partner.
It doesn't matter if the Owner tells the slave to give them a foot massage or run them a hot bath. The key is "telling" and not asking. I've found that a lot of people have trouble with this because society instills in us the necessity of manners, ie "please and thank you". While being polite is a great way to interact with people in "general", for a slave it can undermine the "feeling" of being a servant.
Last, but certainly not least, an Owner should chain their slave up in the basement and leave them them there for a few days. Oh, wait, that wasn't what I was going to say. I mean, that might be bad, for them and you in the long run. Now I've lost count of these damn marbles. :(
Anyway, I hope some of this made sense. I wrote this post to try to illustrate that D/s can be practiced in creative ways that don't require planning or bondage equipment. Vanilla life and experiences are just as important as the kink. Its up to you as an individual to figure out what works and what doesn't. Hopefully with the help of this post, you'll find your own way to have the white picket fence with or without the handcuffs. <3